Casual Vertigo

titkoks:

(via birdiecereal)

sugarpkts:

sugarpkts:

there are’m only 23 types of people in the world

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aflo:

felicitypdf:

ibuprofen and sink water is the midnight version of coffee and a cigarette…

im starting to think some of you guys might not be okay

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fungiblegoods:

elvarasokazokakurvaelvarasok-de:

(via birdiecereal)

captainclickycat:

sonnetscrewdriver:

impormable:

Old dude came in the shop and when I said “lemme know if you have any questions” he goes “what was the name of Alexander the Great’s horse,” thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says “you’re only the second person who knew that” and I said “well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great.” He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I’m a bitch, old man!

I had one of these once, bookshop customer randomly challenged me to name, quote, ‘the only word in English where two u’s are next to each other’, and when I immediately said ‘vacuum’ he looked disappointed and when I pointed out it isn’t even the only word with two u’s next to each other in English and offered ‘continuum’ as an example he looked like I’d just punched his ribcage out his back like a Mortal Kombat character

People claiming this didn’t happen have never worked a day in retail

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official-lucifers-child:

memewhore:

i want to learn a risotto that will get me married and out of the basement

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huffylemon:

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petalpetal:

butchlesbianfozziebear-deactiva:

lesbiantiana:

this pandemic has been especially hard for us soft-spoken bitches 😔 no one can hear us through our mask

Us hard of hearing bitches too. Catch me saying ‘what???’ five or six times in a row..

Same with us speech impediment bitches

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11thsense:

Bruh it’s not that hard to let go of Harry Potter why does it have such a gorilla grip on some of u people. “It’s a cultural phenomenon” okay? it’ll never be SpongeBob.

(via office-of-eden)

lesdemonium:

i made your favorite dish. i made you something you’ve never tried before. i love you. i spent twenty minutes chopping. my grandmother made this for me when i was little. i made this dairy free for you. i love you. i want to eat together. the onions made me cry. i love you. i learned this recipe for you. i love you. i made this special for your birthday. i love you. i know you don’t like peppers. i love you. i love you. i love you.

(via soso-surprise)

funnytwittertweets:

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arieswizard:

theres something very beautiful to me about annual rewatches of over the garden wall. this show came out in 2014 and every year in september my dash is flooded with otgw gifsets and content. as an australian i usually get annoyed at american autumnal celebrations bc theyre so unrelated to the springtime im currently enjoying, but theres something about this tiny weird cartoon that we’ve all been watching and rewatching for seven years that warms my heart

(via office-of-eden)

thecharmingseal:

heytatertot:

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

Doesn’t a dehumidifier do the opposite of what this person wants???

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